You have probably heard that coaching can change things. You may also have wondered what, exactly, happens in there. Do you lie on a couch? Fill out a worksheet? Get told to try harder by someone with a very nice lamp? Here is what coaching actually is, what makes ADHD coaching different, what the research says, and what a session looks like from the first question to the last. It is more fun than you would think, and you leave with a plan built for your brain instead of someone else’s.
So what is coaching, exactly?
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) describes coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process.” Translation: you and a coach work as a team to help you make the most of your work and your life. Notice what is missing from that sentence. Bossing. Lecturing. A laminated list of rules.
Two beliefs sit under the whole thing. You are the expert on your own life, and you are creative, resourceful, and whole. Yes, even the version of you with 47 browser tabs open.
From there, ICF says a coach’s job comes down to four things:
Figure out what you actually want, and get clear on it
Help you discover things about yourself along the way
Draw out solutions and strategies that you come up with, which tend to stick better than the ones you are handed
Hold you responsible and accountable, kindly
ICF also draws some lines between coaching and the professions it is regularly mistaken for:
Therapy heals pain, dysfunction, and conflict, often by working through the past. Coaching looks forward, with a focus on action, accountability, and follow-through toward goals you pick.
Consulting is an expert diagnosing a problem and handing you the fix. Coaching assumes you can come up with your own fixes, with a coach supplying frameworks and good questions.
Mentoring is wisdom from someone who has walked the road before you. Coaching is less about advice and more about helping you find your own route.
What makes ADHD coaching different?
The ADHD Coaches Organization (ACO) says ADHD coaches are trained coaches first. They work from the ICF approach, then add specific training and expertise in coaching people affected by ADHD. In other words, everything above, plus an understanding of how your brain actually works.
In 2013, the ACO gathered experienced coaches to pin down a definition. ADDA’s summary of that work says ADHD coaching blends three ingredients, and the whole is bigger than the parts:
Life coaching: You are the expert on your life. The work is collaborative, client-driven, and confidential.
Skills coaching: You build the self-awareness, systems, and strategies that ADHD makes tricky, like starting tasks, planning, time awareness, and follow-through.
Education: You learn how ADHD and executive function really work, so you can build supports that suit your brain instead of fighting it.
A general coach can help you set a goal and stay accountable. An ADHD-informed coach also understands why a crystal-clear goal can still feel impossible to start, and builds the plan around that. It is the difference between being told to run faster and being handed shoes that fit.
Does it actually work? What the research says
The research points in a good direction. A review of 18 studies found that ADHD coaching appears effective for improving executive functioning and ADHD symptoms, and several studies also found better well-being. In one study of 148 college students, an 8-week coaching program led to significant gains in study strategies and self-esteem, along with less distress. The ADHD Coaches Organization’s summary is that coaching contributes positively to functioning across the age span.
A session, start to finish
To make this concrete, here is a composite client. She is not a real person, but she will feel familiar. She is a young professional with a big presentation due Friday who has, in the name of preparing for it, reorganized her desk twice and alphabetized her spices.
Before the session
Bring something with you: a project you are working on, or a change you want to make happen. It can be big (a career move) or small (answering email like a functioning adult). You do not need to be organized first. Requiring that would be like requiring a person to be fit before joining a gym. Sessions happen in person or on video, whichever you will actually show up for.
The opening question
I start with some version of: what is weighing on you most right now? Sometimes that is exactly the thing you brought. Sometimes it is something that showed up on the way in, and we follow it. Our young professional brought the presentation. What is actually weighing on her is the dread of the presentation, which has been quietly eating her week.
The middle
This is where I mostly ask questions and she mostly figures things out, which is the part people find suspicious. We look at what is getting in the way of starting. It is usually not laziness. More often, the first step is too big, too vague, or attached to a feeling she would rather avoid. Together we design one small experiment. Hers is ten minutes of drafting the worst possible opening slide, with permission for it to be terrible. She came up with the experiment. I merely refused to let her talk her way out of it.
The close
She says her next step in her own words, and we agree when she will do it and how she will tell me. Between sessions there may be a short check-in, because accountability that only exists on Tuesdays is more of a hope.
What happens next
She reports back. Sometimes the experiment works. Sometimes it flops, and we learn something from the flop. Either way, she leaves with a better understanding of how her own brain operates, which is more than the spice rack ever gave her.
Is coaching right for you?
First, a quick note on what coaching is not. It is not therapy, and it is not medical care. I do not diagnose ADHD, prescribe anything, or treat depression, and a good coach will tell you when something belongs with a licensed professional. If you suspect you have ADHD and have not been evaluated, that is your first stop. Coaching will wait patiently in the wings.
Coaching may be a great fit if you know exactly what you want to do and cannot seem to start. Or if you have systems that worked for three weeks and then quietly died. Or if you are tired of hearing “just try harder” from people who have never had to.
Here is the good news. Needing a different approach is not a character flaw. It is information, and information is something you can build on. You are not broken. You are just running a brain that needs a better manual, and that part is very fixable.
I work with adults, college students, and teens on procrastination, task initiation, motivation, and executive function. If you are curious, visit susanpagorcoaching.com or write to hello@susanpagorcoaching.com, and we will talk about whether coaching makes sense for you. The first conversation requires no color-coded binder, I promise. Come as you are, tabs and all.
Sources
Susan Pagor is an ICF-certified ADHD coach based in San Carlos, California, working with adults, college students, and teens in person and online. She helps clients tackle procrastination, task initiation, motivation, and executive function with strategies built for how their brains actually work, not how they are told they should. Her sessions are practical, collaborative, and a lot more fun than people expect.
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