The Planner Problem: Why We Buy Them, Forget Them, and Feel Bad About It
Let me guess—you've got at least three planners sitting somewhere in your house right now. Maybe one's still in the shrink wrap. Another has the first week of January filled out beautifully, then… nothing. There might even be one you bought because it was SO pretty, and you were absolutely certain THIS would be the one that would finally get you organized.
I get it. I've been there too.
This Isn't About You Being Lazy
Here's what I hear from my clients all the time: "I don't know what's wrong with me. I keep buying planners, and I never use them. I must just be lazy."
Stop right there. This has nothing to do with laziness or lack of trying. You're not broken, and you're not failing at being an adult.
The truth is, our ADHD brains work differently, and most planning systems weren't designed with us in mind. They were created by people whose brains naturally remember appointments, naturally think ahead, and naturally build habits without having to think about it constantly.
That's not us. And that's okay.
The struggle with planners is actually about executive function. It's about working memory that sometimes feels like a sieve. It's about time blindness that makes "next Tuesday" feel both incredibly far away and somehow already here. It's about the gap between wanting to be organized and having the brain wiring that makes organization feel natural.
Dr. Russell Barkley, one of the leading ADHD researchers, puts it this way: "ADHD is not a disorder of knowing what to do, but of doing what you know." You KNOW you should write things down. You KNOW you should check your calendar. The knowledge isn't the problem—it's the execution.
Understanding this changes everything. It means we can stop beating ourselves up and start finding systems that actually work WITH our brains instead of against them.
The Great Debate: Digital vs. Paper
Here's the truth: some of my clients swear by their phones, others need to physically write things down, and some use both. There's no wrong answer here.
Let me break down what I've seen actually work with the people I coach.
Digital planners (phone apps, Google Calendar, reminder apps) can be amazing because:
They ping you with reminders when your brain has moved on to seventeen other things
They're always with you (because let's be real, you're not leaving home without your phone)
You can't lose them under a pile of mail
They sync across devices, so that appointment you added on your laptop shows up on your phone
You can set multiple reminders—one a day before, one an hour before, one ten minutes before
But they can also:
Get lost in notification overload (when everything dings, nothing feels important)
Require you to actually open the app and look at it
Feel less satisfying than crossing something off with a pen
Become just another screen demanding your attention
Paper planners work for a lot of people because:
There's something about physically writing things down that helps them stick in your brain
You can see your whole week or month at a glance without clicking through screens
They don't require battery life or WiFi
The act of crossing something off feels REALLY good
You can doodle, color-code, and make them your own
There's actually research backing this up. Dr. Pam Mueller from Princeton found that the act of handwriting engages our brains differently than typing does. For some ADHD brains, that physical connection helps information stick in a way that digital entry doesn't.
But they also:
Can't remind you of anything (unless you're looking at them)
Can get lost, left at home, or buried under stuff
Don't sync with anything
Require you to remember to look at them
I've had clients who've tried to "should" themselves into using digital because it seems more efficient, but they kept missing things. When they switched to paper, suddenly everything clicked. I've also had clients who felt guilty about "not being able" to use a physical planner, but once they embraced digital tools, their whole life got easier.
Your brain gets to decide what works. Not productivity gurus on Instagram. Not your organized friend who has her life together. Your brain.
What Actually Makes a Planning System Work for ADHD Brains
After years of coaching people with ADHD (and living with it myself), here's what I've learned actually matters:
It has to be ridiculously easy to use. If you have to flip through five pages to find where to write something, you won't use it. If you have to open three apps, you won't do it. The barrier to entry has to be LOW.
It has to be visible. Out of sight really is out of mind for us. If your planner lives in a drawer, you'll forget it exists. If your calendar app is buried on page three of your phone, you won't check it.
It has to have reminders built in somehow. Whether that's setting phone alarms, putting sticky notes everywhere, or having someone in your life who checks in with you—you need external cues. As ADHD expert Dr. Edward Hallowell says, "The ADHD brain needs external structure to compensate for the lack of internal structure." Those reminders? They're not a crutch. They're exactly what your brain needs.
It needs to be forgiving. You're going to miss days. You're going to forget to write things down. You're going to have weeks where the whole system falls apart. The best system is one you can pick back up without feeling like you've failed.
It should work with your life, not against it. If you're always on your computer, use a digital system. If you work with your hands all day, paper might be better. If you're a visual person, get something colorful. If you're overwhelmed by too many choices, keep it simple.
Making It Actually Happen
Here's the practical part. The part where we turn ideas into action.
Start smaller than you think you need to. Don't try to plan your entire life on day one. Start with just the absolute must-remember things: appointments, work deadlines, school assignments.
Pair planning with something you already do. Check your calendar while you're having your morning coffee. Do a weekly review every Sunday while you're watching TV. Write tomorrow's top three tasks before you go to bed. Attach the new habit to an existing one. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, calls this "habit stacking"—and it's especially powerful for ADHD brains because you're using an established habit as the trigger for your new one.
Make it a capture-everything system. When something pops into your head, write it down immediately. Doesn't matter where—your planner, your phone, a sticky note. Just get it out of your brain and somewhere you can find it later. You can organize it properly later (or not—done is better than perfect).
Build in a weekly check-in. Pick one day a week to look at the week ahead. What's coming up? What needs to happen? What can you prepare for now so future-you has an easier time? I do mine on Sunday evenings, but Friday afternoons or Monday mornings work great too.
Color-code or categorize if it helps. Some people love having work in blue, personal stuff in green, and kids' activities in purple. Others find that overwhelming. Try it if it sounds appealing, skip it if it doesn't.
Set reminders for the reminders. If you're using a paper planner, set phone alarms for your important appointments. If you're using digital, set multiple notifications. There's no such thing as too many reminders when you have ADHD.
Give yourself permission to change systems. What works in one season of life might not work in another. That's normal. You're allowed to switch from paper to digital, or try a different app, or go back to what you used before. This isn't about finding the ONE PERFECT SYSTEM for the rest of your life. It's about finding what works right now.
The Thing Nobody Tells You
Here's what I wish someone had told me years ago: you're not trying to become a different person. You're not trying to transform into someone who naturally remembers everything and never misses appointments.
You're just trying to build a system that catches the things your brain naturally drops.
That's it. That's the goal.
Not perfection. Not becoming someone you're not. Just having a safety net for your brain.
And some days, that safety net is going to have holes in it. You're still going to forget things sometimes. You're still going to have moments where you realize you double-booked yourself or completely spaced on something important.
That doesn't mean the system isn't working. It means you're human. And your brain works the way it works.
The planner—whatever form it takes—is just a tool. It's not a test of your worth or your capability. It's just there to help.
Your Challenge This Week
Here's what I want you to do this week: Pick one system. Just one. It doesn't have to be perfect—it just has to be something you're willing to try for seven days.
Maybe that's the Notes app on your phone. Maybe it's that planner you bought six months ago. Maybe it's a simple Google Calendar. Maybe it's a notebook and pen on your nightstand.
Write down three things each day. That's it. Could be appointments, could be tasks, could be things you don't want to forget. Three things. Seven days.
No judgment. No pressure. No making it Pinterest-perfect.
Just you, trying something, and seeing what happens.
Come back and tell me how it went. Drop a comment below or send me a message. I want to hear what worked and what didn't. I want to know what surprised you, what frustrated you, and what you learned about how your brain works.
Because here's what I believe with my whole heart: Your difference is your genius. And that includes how you organize your life.
You don't need to plan like everyone else. You just need to find what works for YOU.
Let's figure it out together.
What planning system are you going to try this week? Tell me in the comments—I'll be checking in to hear how it goes!
